Thursday, August 2, 2012

finding A Good Marriage consultant

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Okay, so your marriage has hit a roadblock....or twelve. Things are falling apart faster than you can keep up. You'd have an easier time getting a deal with on all the brooms in Fantasia than the disaster that your once blessed union has become. Where do you go? What do you do? And who can you look to?

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Professional marriage counseling has been colse to ever since there was a third man to talk to the other two about their marriage. And it has acquired a essential track record of success in bringing marriages back from the brink. In many cases where marriages are in trouble, it rapidly grows beyond the point where the population involved can deal with it effectively on their own, and the time comes to bring in a safe bet face influence.

Remember, though, that your marriage is something essential to both of you. Check that, it is a sacred trust, a union made before your family and whatever god you believe in. If your cherished vase that had been passed down through generations was damaged, you wouldn't hand it over to just any person to restore, would you? So why should you be any less discriminating when it comes to finding a good marriage counselor?

Come up with a list of professional, licensed, therapists in your area. Make some calls, asking about their education, experience, licensing, etc. If you find yourself dealing with exact issues such as abuse, or alcoholism, etc, find out if they are experienced in dealing with those particular areas.

Ask for results. What percentage of the couples he has worked with are still together? The higher the amount or percentage, the more impressed you should be.

Check your condition guarnatee to see if it covers marriage therapy. If it does, use that as the basis for locating a therapist convenient to where you live.

Don't hesitate to visit two or three potential counselors, sitting down with each one, sharing your problems, as well as the goals that you hope to perform through the counseling process. See it for what it is....a job interview.

Make sure your therapist holds the same values that you do, and can of course identify with your goals. If you are a Christian join and your counselor has a model of Buddha in his office and offers guidance gleaned from the Tipitaka, then you might want to consider finding elsewhere.

Learn the incompatibility in the middle of a marriage therapist and a disunion therapist. Marriage therapists are there to help you hold your marriage together and work towards healing the rifts that have developed. disunion therapists are there to help you isolate and go through the disunion process. Obviously, there are two vastly different goals at work here. You want to make sure you are working toward the right one.

If finances are an issue, consider going through a church schedule (which will be significantly less costly if not free) or through a pupil program. Many schools will offer very uncostly rates and the pupil counselors are supervised by licensed professionals.

Likewise, decree a budget. It is difficult to put a price on a marriage, but you need to decree how much counseling you can afford, and try to set some goals for you and your spouse that can be reached by a pre-determined time. Never ending counseling benefits nobody.

Make sure the counselor is a good match for you and your spouse. Don't hesitate to cut off the sessions if your gut tells you that something isn't right. Take the time to find a counselor that can benefit the both of you.

You may also want to consider the idea of a marriage retreat, somewhere where you can go with your spouse to spend a few days away from the pressures of the "real world" to join and focus exclusively on you and your spouse's needs. Retreats may be faith based or secular in nature, so choose whichever one best accommodates your lifestyle and reliance system.

Your marriage is far too important to risk putting yourself in the hands of unqualified counselors, or counselors that do not have the same shared interests and goals in mind. Take the time to find one that is proper to both you and your spouse, who will remain objective and unbiased while helping move you toward the ultimate reconciliation.

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